i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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