if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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