so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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