Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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