I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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