i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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