We're like a lot better than the average bears
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
