Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
