i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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