I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
