i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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