My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
