i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
