I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Operation Purity has been aborted
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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