ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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