How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
