What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
