Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
