Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
