it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
