sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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