Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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