i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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