I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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