Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
