If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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