I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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