I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
