Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
