So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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