yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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