What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
