eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
