Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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