I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The adults are the big ones right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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