Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
