At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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