my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
