I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
as a side note pls kill me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
