If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
