Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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