i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
