operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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