Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
