I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
