she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
