That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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