so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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