So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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