I want to have your abortion
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
