Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
