dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Houston, we have a squirter
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
