If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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